Even more clutziness

If you're a regular reader, you may have picked up that I take my tea very seriously.

After a visit to Canberra the other weekend, my equally tea-conscious sister gave me a case of teapot envy. Hers was lovely - it was a good size and poured beautifully.

Mine looks pretty good and is a good size, but it's one of those annoying ones that dribble every time you pour a cup of tea. without fail. I've actually incorporated this fact into my morning routine so that I pour next to the sink with the teapot over it at an odd angle to catch the leaky tea.

So on Saturday, I noticed that a local homewares store at my local shopping centre had a bit of a sale on, so I resolved to buy myself a new teapot.

this was actually quite some effort. The teapot that I liked was on a very top shelf and the shop assistant had to get out a ladder to get it down for me to have a look at it. It also didn't have a price-tag or a box so it took a bit of hunting down to find out how much it was.

All that said and done, I paid for my new teapot, had it wrapped, and headed off to get the rest of my groceries.

Of course, clutz-Jacki couldn't just leave a story there (nor would it be an amusing anecdote for my local readers, I suppose).

I grabbed a shopping basket and quickly filled it with the necessary groceries on my list. I headed to the checkout, lined up, and then unloaded my basket. All this time the new teapot is carefully wrapped and in a green bag over my shoulder.

Once my basket was empty, I leaned down to place it in the usual stacking spot, under the checkout.

At this point the bag slipped off my shoulder and slid quickly down my arm...and landed with a clank and a thud on the ground.

Needless to say, I spent part of the afternoon playing handy-woman with glue and a broken teapot....

More clutzy goodness

It's funny, even when you know you're a clutz, you can convince yourself that you look pretty cool. A couple of pieces of background information you may need for this story.....

• Today's Friday, and at my workplace that means casual dress.
• This morning I decided to wear my favourite stretch denim jeans.
• I have recently started to wear a pedometer in a bid to get fit.

So I headed to work this morning and clipped on the pedometer. Quickly discovered that the pedometer doesn't stay clipped onto stretch materials terribly well. Walking into work, the stupid thing drops off for the umpteenth time. I'm carrying two bags and my breakfast, so picking it up takes a bit of logistical wrangling.

I'm greeted with onlookers finding this whole episode highly amusing. I think the phrase was "Sometimes Jacki's such a Jacki!"

typographical clutziness

Ah, I love when the humble typo changes the entire meaning of a sentence whilst still making sense. Like when I accidentally added a stray "C" the word "remediate" this morning....

What do you really, really not want to break down when you're away for the weekend?

Apologies for the absence. I’m blaming ongoing work PC issues, combined with being a bit of a social butterfly at the moment, so I’ve not been home much in the evenings.

As compensation, I have a great “Jacki’s an idiot” story for you all.

So, as you may have read, I was away all weekend in Canberra getting up to lots of fun girly family shenanigans. I arrived home Sunday evening and headed out again pretty much straight away to go see not-the-boy. This was followed by arriving back home later, totally exhausted, and heading pretty much straight to bed.

Yesterday morning I got up to get ready for work, and started making a cup of tea. After going through the usual motions of boiling the kettle, emptying the teapot and making the tea, I returned once it had had a chance to steep for a few minutes to do the pouring.

At this point I noticed that the milk wasn’t cold. A quick sniff confirmed that “yoghurt” would be a far more accurate description of the contents of the carton.

With a sinking feeling in my stomach, I warily checked the fridge. It was as warm in there as the rest of the apartment, and the state of my vegetables confirmed that it probably hadn’t been cold in there for a couple of days. Aargh! The fridge is definitely the one appliance in the house that you don’t want to have break on you and left for a couple of days.

So, being the organiser that I am, I did the following:
I looked up the number of my appliance repair guy (it was on a magnet on the fridge, so it wasn’t too tricky to find) and gave him a call. He agreed to come out mid-morning.
I called my boss to organise coming in a couple of hours late. She suggested that if the fridge was completely dead it would probably be covered by my contents insurance.
I called my insurance company to check that it was covered and received instructions on what I would need to do and what I would need from the repairman if the fridge was fried.
I dashed to my local supermarket. Picked up milk (I did finally manage that cup of tea) a couple of things to eat, and a bag of ice.
Went back home and filled the esky with ice and then the contents of my shopping.
Completed the stomach-churning job of cleaning out my fridge. I think the less said about that particular task the better.

Finally the repair guy arrived. He briefly admired my new dishwasher (advising me on giving up on the old one and giving me excellent advice on the choice and maintenance of the new one was his last job for me) and then set to the task of having a look at my fridge.

He opened the door, and noted that it wasn’t working at all, even the light. Apparently it’s unusual for the light and the engine to fail at the same time. Time to check the power point. I grabbed a hairdryer (it’s not like it’s been used for anything else much lately) and gave it a try.

Nothing.

OK, apparently the next thing to do was to check the fuse box.

As I’m in an apartment, my fuse box is in my hall storage cupboard. I opened the door and it was immediately clear what the problem was – two of the fuse switches were flicked to the “off” position.

I scratched my head and puzzled for a minute and then looked upwards. On the shelf above the fuse box was the travel bag I had just replaced that morning after using it as my luggage from my weekend away.

Best I can figure, when I started packing last Thursday night, I caught the switches with one of the straps on my bag as I took it down off the shelf.

So the good news is that my fridge is fine.

The bad news is that I’m an idiot.

Mystery Solved

Those keys have found their owner.

And the winner is....(drum roll please!) my Aunty Sandy. Who's place I was at the other week. In my own defense, I was the only woman in the large family group who took a handbag to the funeral. It ended up with a lot of random stuff in it. Including several sets of keys.

So mystery solved.

Hair Colour moment

OK, I've just had it pointed out to me that I made an error on my post advising exactly when I am to become a big-time celebrity.

When programming VCRs, please set them for Tuesday the 3rd of July at 2pm on Channel 10 for the world premier of Ronene and I duking it out on Ready Steady Cook.

That is all.

Is it wrong of me....?

...to laugh at the guy who tripped over the phone cord on the way out of the meeting room near my desk?

Tee hee hee

I've just realised why I have so many accidents. I'm not clumsy, you see, it must be karma.

The whole Sad Story

Firstly, some background - I have a skun knee. Another story altogether...who'd have thought it was a bad idea to walk down the street and read the newspaper at the same time? Anyway, it's quite sore, especially walking. Especially especially walking up or down stairs.

So I get up this morning and get ready for work. It's raining a bit, so I grab my umbrella on the way out the door.

Of course, as soon as I step out into aforementioned rain, deluge begins. Umbrella basically useless in the face of the sheets of water pouring from the sky. Sore knee. Running imposible. So wet that my shoes keep slipping out from under my feet because of the amount of water between my feet and the soles of my shoes. Finally arrive at the station, completely drenched from the waist down, and decidedly damp everywhere else.

I've missed my train. Of course. This is the photo I took once I'd arrived at the station.

Catch the next train. Still wet.

More background - the late train runs around the city circle in the opposite direction to the early train. This makes my journey longer so on mornings when I take the late train, I usually jump off at Central, run down the stairs for my platform, up the stairs to another platform and hop on a train going the right direction.

This morning I decided not to switch trains and to just deal with the whole city circle loop. Sore knee. Stairs hurt. Soaking wet. Already late for work anyway.

Of course. Train delayed. Stuck at Circular Quay. Train delayed. Lovely view of the bridge. Or there would be, if it wasn't raining so hard that I couldn't even see that far?

Finally get to my station. Now it's so late that my breakfast place has run out of scrambled eggs. Still wet. Knee hurts.

Get to work. Still wet. Realise we're about to push a forecast that doesn't contain any of the public holidays I so painstakingly collated for 2007. Hmmm, looks like about a full day of rework to be done. Just what I asked Santa for.

I've been at work for 2 and a half hours now. Still wet. Now also freezing. Wandering around barefoot as my shoes are still so wet that they're making my feet even colder. I put my jumper on, but it was in my bag when I was in the rain, and so is also wet. Not helping.

Grumble, grumble. Is it all over yet? I think I need a hot bath. Maybe a cup of tea and some chocolate biscuits.

My Rock-Star Moment

It's Friday - casual dress day at the office.

I decide on a bit of a Rock-chic ensemble...jeans, black logo t-shirt.

I accessorise accordingly...funky hat, overly-long chandelier earrings with silver lightning bolts at the ends.

I take off for work, walking up the road, feeling pretty good.

The wind picks up, flicks my nice sharp lightning bolts around, which are on lovely overly long earrings just long enough that they can flick me in the face and eyes.

Ouch.

I'll bet I looked pretty cool having my rock-star moment on the street.

Stairways to doom

what is it with me and Escalators. Trust me there's even more stories about me falling over on escalators than I've mentioned so far on here.

And I just did it again. Absolutely no good reason. Just riding up the escalator with my lunch. Pow. Fallen over. How does that work?

Ow.

Horsing Around

Last week was the Melbourne Cup, those few minutes each when Australia stops whatever it's doing and watches a horse race on the telly.

This year work made a bit of a big deal of it...champagne breakfast and then lunch at one of my favourite restaurants. So in the spirit of the day I decided to take the plunge with my first ever flutter.

I picked 2 horses and put a couple of bucks on each for a place. Luck was with me and one of them came in second for me. Woohoo...I felt like a winner.

So, of course, being such a numbers person, I had the whole thing figured out. With the odds on the horses I chose, I absolutely planned on the win on one horse winning me the same amount as I...um..bet on the other horse...and...umm..lost.

Yep, that was the plan alright. Break even. Maybe I should go quitting my day job just yet, huh?

Long weekend update

I hope everyone had a lovely long weekend. Umm, for those of you who didn't have yesterday off, well, umm, that's a bit of bad luck, isn't it?

Well I managed a great one. Well, in spite of a little drama over an injured wrist that I managed to hurt on Friday in typical Jacki style (ie freaky event that you wouldn't believe in a million years). Anyway, it's not too bad and only gets a bit sore now when I'm using a lot or tired.

Totally loving the weather at the moment in Sydney. I had a very active weekend with a lot of park time put in. A big walk in Sydney Park was followed by a relaxing afternoon playing Scrabble in Centennial Park (although I did actually manage to get a bit sunburned as a result of my outdoor activities...must pack the sunscreen earlier in the year this year). Also made it to the gym a couple of times which is giving me a bit of a head start on summer already!

There was also a family dinner with the in-laws, and time for a bona-fide spring clean (thanks Cath - I finally got around to using my marble paste and my shower doors have never been so clean!). Uh Oh, I think that may have made me sound a little like a grown-up there. Gulp.

So hope you all enjoyed the extra day!

Now. Countdown to holidays....8 sleeps to go!

Farewell Sunday Mug

I'm a little sad this week and feel as though something is missing from my life.

Remember the Sunday mug? Well it came to a sad end last weekend. Every morning this week I've had to make myself 2 cups of tea and come back for the second one halfway through my morning ritual. It's a really unsatisfactory state of affairs.

I spent part of my weekend last weekend trying to track down a new one, or something similar (maybe a touch bigger?). I tried House, Kmart, Bayswiss, Tek (the local $2 shop) and a couple of little homewares shops at my local shopping centre. All to no avail. Can't find anything like it.

Any ideas? Short of taking up pottery and making one myself I'm facing life without a Sunday mug! Aargh! The horror!

Words you just can't type

Does anyone else have words they just can't seem to type? That just come out as some weird alternative, no matter how many times you type them?

I certainly do. A couple of them are...(gulp! Just realised now I actually have to try to type them all!)

• Training
• Inflated
• Exercise

I'm sure there's more, I will have to update this post over the next couple of day's typing.

What words does everyone else struggle with?

Update - Add "Myself" and "forecast" to the list!

Update to Humble...

Although I'm still eating Humble pie, apparently I'm not in too much trouble since the accident of height has meant that only inordinately tall people can tell.

Gulp. Whew. (almost relieved)

Pros and Cons

So the new building is now a reality, the boxes are unpacked and the dust has settled.

As with every change in life, there are going to be some advantages and some disadvantages, as well as a few hiccups during the transition. I thought I might share a few things and you can decide which category they fall into (some may depend on your perspective).

1. The Queen of clumsy apparently can't even be at her new desk for half an hour without spilling a glass of cranberry juice all over the place (OK, this one's a hiccup, whichever way you look at it)
2. The new desks are substantially smaller and storage space is at a premium.
3. The view is sensational (not so good if you're afraid of heights, though, I'd imagine)
4. You're pretty much right in the thick of the weather (except not actually outside). So the huge thunderstorm / lightning storm / hailstorm that happened this afternoon (see http://www.smh.com.au/news/national/winter-suddenly-wallops-sydney/2006/08/15/1155407798255.html for more details) and was then followed by this:
5. I know not everyone likes storms, but it was pretty amazing. The sunset afterwards was also spectacular, but I managed to fill up my camera memory and didn't get the photos cleared off in time to capture that particular moment. I'm sure there'll be other opportunities
6. Hi to Karen from Melbourne (originally Tassie) who has been one of my best mates since I was 12. She was in Sydney for a rare stop-over today and caught up with me for lunch, reminding me how close we are to the Slipp Inn (no Princes there today, unfortunately!)
7. I'm sitting back close to my old team. Good news for me as they're a funny old bunch. You'd have to ask them what sort of news it is from their perspective!
8. I still haven't got the whole food thing sorted. Being a committed veggie (no, not committed that way, even if I arguably deserve it at times!), having to change my regular eating spots can be quite daunting and I've kind of chickened out so far.
9. The kitchen is awesome. Actual matching crockery, cutlery and glasses. Plus Fisher & Paykel double dish-drawers (the same dishwasher I just had put in at my place because it is, without compare, the best dishwasher in the world today), plus big fridges (yes - plural!) and proper recycling facilities and 2 microwaves (that aren't so ancient that the display is in roman numerals).
10. The removalists leaving behind our magnetic sasco year planner. How can we possibly plan our year without it???
11. Having to learn how to use the new printer...Closely related to the definite bonus of having a printer that has had new toner at some point during the last decade, and doesn't chew more paper than it prints. (ditto for the photocopier)
12. Having to get used to the whole train thing again. Somehow getting off at the wrong station on my first morning - a station I've never actually used regularly instead of one that I used to get off at every day. How does that work? I even make myself wonder sometimes. Plus rail tickets have gone up in price recently and are more expensive than bus tickets. Grr.
13. The cool new mobile phone holder that came in the welcome pack that flashes pretty colours when my phone rings (I think it's supposed to encourage people to put their phones on silent). OK, small things amuse me.

So all in all, not a bad trade. Ask me in a couple of weeks when I've had a chance to rearrange my desk. It's become painfully obvious that my first attempt at optimal set-up has failed miserably (shelves behind the monitor not such a good idea in hind-sight), but moving all those cables and laptop locks etc is kind of daunting. I'll wait until a nice quiet Friday afternoon when procrastinating seems the best option.

J.

Humble pie.

Yep. I'll publically admit it. I'm most definitely in the girlfriend bad-books.

There may have been a slight incident on the weekend. It may have involved me helping trim around the edges of newly clippered hair.

It may possibly even have involved me slipping a little and it could have resulted in a tiny bit of a bald patch.

Oops.

Sorry!

In my own defense...who lets someone as clumsy as me near them with sharp objects?? Did I mention I managed to spill cranberry juice on my desk within about 30 minutes of occupying my new office?

Not even surprising

If you know me well, you'd know that I seem to have been born with a peculiar combination of clutziness, bad luck, forgetfulness, and just plain freaky things happening to me. Plus I was born without any sense of direction whatsoever.
so over the years, I've been in weird accidents, am known for losing things (especially leaving them on public transport), falling over and running into things. It's just pretty much par for the course when it comes to my day to day life. Whilst some of it is obviously my own fault (and having had a couple of glasses of wine never helps my chances of escaping any circumstance without injury), some things really just seem to be out of the blue. Then there are those that are a bit of both.
I'm not going to try to go into too much detail of past mishaps (although maybe I could write a nice long post on all my misadventures with escalators) because we'd be here all day. You don't even want to know how long a "clutz-off" lasted at a the housewarming party of a similarly-afflicted friend recently.
I will however share a recent story from my trip to the wilds of Far North Queensland. I hope you find it as amusing as my travelling companion so obviously did.

The precursor to this story is that I also have a lot of trouble with sunglasses. I lose them, sit on them, scratcht hem and break them fairly regularly. Plus, I'm one of thos people who really struggles with finding glasses frames and sunglasses that suit me. Something to do with the shape of my face or something. Anyway, over Christmas I took 2 pairs with me on holiday and managed to break one pair and lose the other (of course). Luckily my Dad found a pair of sunglasses in the street (does anyone else's Dad do things like that?), so he gave them to me. In typical fashion, I've actually managed to hang onto the freebies, despite the fact that they look terrible and don't do a terribly good job of protecting my eyes from the sun.

So first real day in Port and we're doing a bit of a browse in the local shops. Ronene's sunglasses have broken so we head for the local chemist for a bit of browsing. After having a look at the specials rack (never pay retail!) I found a pair of sunnies that I actually really liked and that were on sale for half price. Bargain! Wrap 'em up, I'll take 'em.

Day 2 in Port, we go for a drive up to Mossman Gorge and for a look around Mossman. We energetically hopped out of the car and did the full-length Mossman Gorge walk, which is ver beautiful, but very steamy and sweaty work. Incidentally you can check out the photos at my photo gallery - the link is in the previous post.

After over an hour of trekking through the rainforest, having a lovely time, we returned to the car. As we were pulling out to leave, Ronene pulled out her sunglasses to put them on as she was designated driver for the day. I went to reach up for my sunglasses, fully expecting them to be on my head where I had left them. Well of course, they weren't there.

I did a quick review, and remembered that I still had them on my head when we had a photo taken on the suspension bridge about 1km into the walk, and I also distinctly remebered taking off my hat to scratch my head at the lookout about 200m after that. I figured that there couldn't be too much ground to cover in my search, so decided to jog back in for a bit of a look. Ronene, the clever one, decided to stay behind and enjoy her packed lunch whilst I got in a bit of extra exercise.

So in I went. Dodging other tourists and speeding through the rainforest. I arrived at the bridge and slowed my pace, scouring the path on either side as I walked up the hill to the lookout. I reached the top just as the rain started.

I'm not talking about a drizzle or a bit of a sun-shower. I'm talking about full-on, pelting-down, buckloads of rainforest rain. There was nowhere to hide and I was drenched within seconds.

After getting over the immediate "what do I do??" reaction, I realised that there was literally nothing I could do. I stopped and marvelled at the spectacle of experiencing a deluge in the rainforest and it was truly magnificent.

Next I decided to take my time and do a good thorough search for my sunnies. It wasn't possible for me to get any wetter (not without physically jumping into a pool or something, anyway) so I had a good long look...all to no avail. Either I was mistaken about where I had dropped them, or some lucky person had picked up my stylish new sunnies. Unfortunately there's no lost property office in the rainforest.

So I made my way back to the car. I was greeted by gales of laughter upon my arrival looking like a drowned rat's wetter cousin. Thanks for your support and understanding. :-P

I tried to upload a photo, but seem to be having problems. You can check out a picture of the humiliating event here if you must....

http://gallery129166.fotopic.net/p30733470.html