I usually hate awards ceremonies. Actually I always do. I didn't even get any particular enjoyment out of it last night. I think that they're such industry w*nks where overpaid people sit around and pat each other on the back for doing such a good job of failing completely to make the world a better place.
Can you imagine the world tuning in to watch the International Finance Forecaster's Awards? No? Why not? Boring? Hmmm...more boring than the Oscars?
But somehow they suck you in. I was literally just changing channels, waiting for something to start on another channel. I was lured by the frocks and the shoes.
Anyway, since I've already admitted I watched it (apart from the big award at the end, that happened after I fell asleep), and since every other person on the planet seems to have an opinion, here are my expert [sic] opinions on the night....
- Too much long straight hair, pulled over one shoulder. You look like you have a pet otter draped over there, straighted to within an inch of it's life (or beyond)
- Far too many fishtail frocks. Not good in it's hey-day, this look hasn't improved just because they made Dreamgirls
- Kirsten Dunst. What were you thinking?
- Ellen, I really wanted you to be funny. Pity that only worked out about half the time.
- Al Gore. Congratulations. If there were an award for funniest moment of the night, I would have awarded it to you!
- Maggie Gylenhaal - didn't you just have a baby? Have you been living on lettuce leaves and water ever since?
- Clint Eastwood - glasses can make you look intelligent. Especially when the alternative is looking like you're illiterate.
- Yep, all that back-slapping "aren't we wonderful" sentiment after announcing this year's to be the most multi-cultural Oscars ever. Doesn't seem like such a good idea when you've got people giving acceptance speeches that are "gasp" not in English (or the US version thereof).
So there you go. I think I'll go have a shower now. For the next three weeks. At least.
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