Sorry

Short hiatus, I promise. I'll be back soon.

J.

p.s. Can't help saying good luck to Bec - who's due today...hope baby bean comes soon!

THANKS

Big thank-you's to both Dave and Marti.

Thanks to Dave for giving me his sensational stereo components to replace the crappy-arse broken CD player on the crappy power-sucking stereo that I kept from my ex because he owed me money when we broke up (not that I'm bitter)

And thanks to Marti who came over and set the whole gear up for me so that everything is now this amazing home theatre experience...even when I'm just watching NCIS.

You're both legends!!!

p.s. Raffling off tickets to the next movie marathon at my place....

Listening comprehension

Remember back in school they'd make you take reading comprehension tests? You'd have to read a passage and then answer a few questions about the contents.

The other day I went to Fire Warden training. It was a specialist session on bomb threats (let's hope I don't get too badly tagged for using that combination of words!).

2 days later I was in a meeting where another person who had attended that exact same training session gave a short presentation to communicate the contents of the presentation to people who hadn't attended the training.

I have to wonder about different people's listening comprehension because whilst I believe she was talking about the same stuff I'd heard, it pretty much bore no resemblance whatsoever to what I'd taken away from the session. Please find below a translation table:

her: yeah bombs happen all the time in Sydney
me: There were a number of bomb scares last year in Sydney

her: these bombs went off
me: because the person who took the call kept their head, the building was evacuated and the bomb safely contained and detonated in a safe way by the bomb squad.

her: they don't just evacuate you in an emergency
me: Most bomb threats are from people who don't really want to hurt anyone, and mostly hoaxes. The risk will be assessed and the building will be evacuated if the risk is deemed high.

her: most bomb threat callers will give their name.
me: Many bomb threat callers will give a name. Even if it's not their real name, they often use repeated aliases so even a fake name can be useful in investigations.

I don't want to give away too many other fire warden secrets...but can you see what I mean?

I really don't blame any of the meeting attendees for leaving that meeting with a slightly panicked look on their faces!

Even more clutziness

If you're a regular reader, you may have picked up that I take my tea very seriously.

After a visit to Canberra the other weekend, my equally tea-conscious sister gave me a case of teapot envy. Hers was lovely - it was a good size and poured beautifully.

Mine looks pretty good and is a good size, but it's one of those annoying ones that dribble every time you pour a cup of tea. without fail. I've actually incorporated this fact into my morning routine so that I pour next to the sink with the teapot over it at an odd angle to catch the leaky tea.

So on Saturday, I noticed that a local homewares store at my local shopping centre had a bit of a sale on, so I resolved to buy myself a new teapot.

this was actually quite some effort. The teapot that I liked was on a very top shelf and the shop assistant had to get out a ladder to get it down for me to have a look at it. It also didn't have a price-tag or a box so it took a bit of hunting down to find out how much it was.

All that said and done, I paid for my new teapot, had it wrapped, and headed off to get the rest of my groceries.

Of course, clutz-Jacki couldn't just leave a story there (nor would it be an amusing anecdote for my local readers, I suppose).

I grabbed a shopping basket and quickly filled it with the necessary groceries on my list. I headed to the checkout, lined up, and then unloaded my basket. All this time the new teapot is carefully wrapped and in a green bag over my shoulder.

Once my basket was empty, I leaned down to place it in the usual stacking spot, under the checkout.

At this point the bag slipped off my shoulder and slid quickly down my arm...and landed with a clank and a thud on the ground.

Needless to say, I spent part of the afternoon playing handy-woman with glue and a broken teapot....

M&M Magic

The break up of my mini-pack of M&Ms:

3 orange
3 brown
3 yellow
2 blue
2 green
1 red

The correct order for eating M&Ms: Brown, Orange, Yellow, Red Green, Blue. Isn't it obvious?

More clutzy goodness

It's funny, even when you know you're a clutz, you can convince yourself that you look pretty cool. A couple of pieces of background information you may need for this story.....

• Today's Friday, and at my workplace that means casual dress.
• This morning I decided to wear my favourite stretch denim jeans.
• I have recently started to wear a pedometer in a bid to get fit.

So I headed to work this morning and clipped on the pedometer. Quickly discovered that the pedometer doesn't stay clipped onto stretch materials terribly well. Walking into work, the stupid thing drops off for the umpteenth time. I'm carrying two bags and my breakfast, so picking it up takes a bit of logistical wrangling.

I'm greeted with onlookers finding this whole episode highly amusing. I think the phrase was "Sometimes Jacki's such a Jacki!"

typographical clutziness

Ah, I love when the humble typo changes the entire meaning of a sentence whilst still making sense. Like when I accidentally added a stray "C" the word "remediate" this morning....

Still Alive

Hi everybody. Sorry, for the involuntary absence, I am experiencing ongoing technical difficulties at the moment. I'm afraid to say you'll have to put up with me posting only from home for a little while.

The good news is that I've still been writing a few posts. Bear with me if they seem a little out of context; I've been saving them up especially for you!

So enjoy...and bear with me....please?

Canberra

A big thanks to Petrina and Nicola for a sensational weekend in Canberra!!

the first of many. :-)

p.s. Petrina, I believe you may find

What do you really, really not want to break down when you're away for the weekend?

Apologies for the absence. I’m blaming ongoing work PC issues, combined with being a bit of a social butterfly at the moment, so I’ve not been home much in the evenings.

As compensation, I have a great “Jacki’s an idiot” story for you all.

So, as you may have read, I was away all weekend in Canberra getting up to lots of fun girly family shenanigans. I arrived home Sunday evening and headed out again pretty much straight away to go see not-the-boy. This was followed by arriving back home later, totally exhausted, and heading pretty much straight to bed.

Yesterday morning I got up to get ready for work, and started making a cup of tea. After going through the usual motions of boiling the kettle, emptying the teapot and making the tea, I returned once it had had a chance to steep for a few minutes to do the pouring.

At this point I noticed that the milk wasn’t cold. A quick sniff confirmed that “yoghurt” would be a far more accurate description of the contents of the carton.

With a sinking feeling in my stomach, I warily checked the fridge. It was as warm in there as the rest of the apartment, and the state of my vegetables confirmed that it probably hadn’t been cold in there for a couple of days. Aargh! The fridge is definitely the one appliance in the house that you don’t want to have break on you and left for a couple of days.

So, being the organiser that I am, I did the following:
I looked up the number of my appliance repair guy (it was on a magnet on the fridge, so it wasn’t too tricky to find) and gave him a call. He agreed to come out mid-morning.
I called my boss to organise coming in a couple of hours late. She suggested that if the fridge was completely dead it would probably be covered by my contents insurance.
I called my insurance company to check that it was covered and received instructions on what I would need to do and what I would need from the repairman if the fridge was fried.
I dashed to my local supermarket. Picked up milk (I did finally manage that cup of tea) a couple of things to eat, and a bag of ice.
Went back home and filled the esky with ice and then the contents of my shopping.
Completed the stomach-churning job of cleaning out my fridge. I think the less said about that particular task the better.

Finally the repair guy arrived. He briefly admired my new dishwasher (advising me on giving up on the old one and giving me excellent advice on the choice and maintenance of the new one was his last job for me) and then set to the task of having a look at my fridge.

He opened the door, and noted that it wasn’t working at all, even the light. Apparently it’s unusual for the light and the engine to fail at the same time. Time to check the power point. I grabbed a hairdryer (it’s not like it’s been used for anything else much lately) and gave it a try.

Nothing.

OK, apparently the next thing to do was to check the fuse box.

As I’m in an apartment, my fuse box is in my hall storage cupboard. I opened the door and it was immediately clear what the problem was – two of the fuse switches were flicked to the “off” position.

I scratched my head and puzzled for a minute and then looked upwards. On the shelf above the fuse box was the travel bag I had just replaced that morning after using it as my luggage from my weekend away.

Best I can figure, when I started packing last Thursday night, I caught the switches with one of the straps on my bag as I took it down off the shelf.

So the good news is that my fridge is fine.

The bad news is that I’m an idiot.

Why is it so?

So favourite topics, they're already quantified over the side. A little elucidation may be in order, however. So here goes...

1. Whinging. I'm a bit of a venter. Love a good vent, in fact. A good whinge on a blog always makes me feel heaps better. Thanks for listening. Well, reading.


2. Complimentary stuff. I was actually surprised to see that the numbers for this are higher than the whingy ones. Guess I'm not such a sooky-la-la after all.


3. Stuff happening. I kind of started this one, and somehow every time I use it I wonder whether it was really a good idea. Pretty much every time I post it's about stuff happening. It's kind of a given.


4. World's Greatest Shave. A short but intense period of shameless fundraising. Don't regret a second of it.


5. Public Transport. I'm on it every day. It's a big part of my life. I'm trying to cut down on the habit of writing about it. OK, let's just leave it at that.


6. Jacki's a clutz. Pretty self-explanatory, I think.


7. Guest writers. Love 'em. They're great. Haven't done one in a while (although the last one was particularly memorable). Any volunteers?


8. Quote of the Day. New, but good. Love whenever I get a new one.


9. Jacki Philosophy. Kind of a catch-all for stuff that I just like.


10. Food. Words. Music. Really just me talking about my taste in stuff, and my personal passions. Hope some people out there enjoy them.

So there ya go!

The Saddest Entry

This one.

Enough said.

At the Author's Behest, We Forget

OK, I'm not so sure that everything on here was such a good idea. Here are a couple of posts that just maybe I'd rather forget...I'm including links on here out of habit, but feel free to not click on them.

This one, the first of several work update emails. Yup. Nobody wants to hear it. Even I don't want to hear it. I never enjoyed writing it, and finally got around to letting it fall by the wayside.

I think I've done this more than once. Yawn. Probably because I couldn't think of anything original to write on the day. Pure laziness, no doubt.

Whinging about work. Hmmm. Everyone's favourite topic.

Still, not too bad a number of duds given it's 3 in 300. (that's a 1% miss rate, in case you were wondering).

What do I write about?

OK, I started this post, but then realised that, thanks to the wondrous magic of labels, you can actually see this list yourself over there<--------------------and down a bit. Go have a look if you feel the need. In summary, whinging is pretty popular.

My Favourites

OK, this is completely self-indulgent. It's completely based on the posts that I most enjoyed writing. So here we go...top 5.



This post on high heels was my very first real whingey ones. Plus it came with its very own gross photo.



This one was a great one to write. It's nice sometimes to sit back and thank the people you love and who love you



This one was my absolute favourite to write out of everything. I may have lost the plot a little somewhere along the way, but strangely enough this one had quite a few fans as well.



This, this and this. Really only counts as one post. I was so overwhelmed with people's generosity with the whole fundraising effort. Plus the fact that I was suddenly bald.



The culmination of many, many (possibly too many) posts on public transport. The final word. I was pretty much ready to close the door on this whole staple and I did that with this post. And the one that followed, but the whingey one was definitely more fun to write.

Most Popular

And the winner is......



The most popular post, at least judging by the fact that I got loads of emails, heaps of traffic, and even a comment was...



The Truth About Cats and Dogs



I really try not to get too "battle of the sexes" on here. Generally I'd prefer to be known for my writing and my own quirky sense of humour (at least, that's how I like to thing of it) than my relationship. This is coupled with the fact that the significant other is really pretty uncomfortable with being discussed publicly (he also hates having his photo taken, or being filmed, but that's another story). So for all of these reasons I try to steer basically clear of these sorts of topics. But at the time I wrote this, it was just too funny a situation to leave out.



Seems the rest of you agree. :-)

HAPPY BLOGIVERSARY!!!!!!

Yes, believe it or not, but it was one year ago today that I started up this little blog of mine.



And would you believe that it has intersected very nicely indeed with my 300th post!



Yup, I've averaged to post 82% of days for a year. Or 5.8 times a week, or 25 times a month. (I did mention up front that I was a bit of a nerd!)



So, how could I top all of that, I asked myself? And, let me tell you, I answered (sometimes the voices in my head do that...it's very handy!)



The answer that came to me was that I should have a blogging extravaganza!!!!



There will be lists. Oh yes, many lists. A bit of a walk down memory lane and plenty of reminiscing.



We'll take a look back at my favourite posts. We'll revisit the most popular posts. We can take a look at some the the amusing ways that people got here, and I might even walk you through some of my favourite themes.



There could be some questions answered. If anyone asks any questions, that is...you lot are a notoriously quiet lot (even though I know you're there). But if you change your mind and want to post a question or a comment, please go ahead. It's now or never!



Anyway, should be a blast, so tune in throughout the day. Well, actually the afternoon as I'll be doing some work stuff in the morning, but you get the picture!



See you there! Or here, I suppose.



J. :-)

later.....just so you know, my PC was out of order pretty much all of today, so all these great posts following, that I diligently prepared last night, are being posted from not-so-sunny (bloody freezing, in fact) Canberra. Enjoy belatedly. J.

Things Happening

A big Happy Birthday to Jo for yesterday. Hope you had a great day!

Sorry for the slight lapse. I managed to kill my work PC. Yep, completely dead. Won't even start up. Not bad for 6 weeks into a new job hey?

Soo.....tomorrow is a very special day. Can anyone guess why??

If not, I suggest you tune in. There should be plenty of action. Well, plenty of posts, if you can call that action.

Anyway, you'll have to be here to find out.

J.

And howdy and welcome to all my new visitors. Come back any time.

Mystery Solved

Those keys have found their owner.

And the winner is....(drum roll please!) my Aunty Sandy. Who's place I was at the other week. In my own defense, I was the only woman in the large family group who took a handbag to the funeral. It ended up with a lot of random stuff in it. Including several sets of keys.

So mystery solved.

Underrated Accessory

Given my penchant for hats, I feel obligated to link to this post about them.

Although I have to admit that I only own one of the types of hats discussed. Well, two of the same category. You know what I mean.

Any guesses as to which one?